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Related Quotations by keyword: heads of state    “FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.
The Maker, at Creation's birth, With living things had stocked the earth. From elephants to bats and snails, They all were good, for all were males. But when the Devil came and saw He said: "By Thine eternal law Of growth, maturity, decay, These all must quickly pass away And leave untenanted the earth Unless Thou dost establish birth" -- Then tucked his head beneath his wing To laugh --he had no sleeve --the thing With deviltry did so accord, That he'd suggested to the Lord. The Master pondered this advice, Then shook and threw the fateful dice Wherewith all matters here below Are ordered, and observed the throw; Then bent His head in awful state, Confirming the decree of Fate. From every part of earth anew The conscious dust consenting flew, While rivers from their courses rolled To make it plastic for the mould. Enough collected (but no more, For niggard Nature hoards her store) He kneaded it to flexible clay, While Nick unseen threw some away. And then the various forms He cast, Gross organs first and finer last; No one at once evolved, but all By even touches grew and small Degrees advanced, till, shade by shade, To match all living things He'd made Females, complete in all their parts Except (His clay gave out) the hearts.
"No matter," Satan cried; "with speed I'll fetch the very hearts they need" -- So flew away and soon brought back The number needed, in a sack. That night earth range with sounds of strife -- Ten million males each had a wife; That night sweet Peace her pinions spread O'er Hell --ten million devils dead! --G.J.” |  Ambrose Bierce quotes (American Writer, Journalist and Editor, 1842-1914)
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“TORTOISE, n. A creature thoughtfully created to supply occasion for the following lines by the illustrious Ambat Delaso:
TO MY PET TORTOISE
My friend, you are not graceful --not at all; Your gait's between a stagger and a sprawl.
Nor are you beautiful: your head's a snake's To look at, and I do not doubt it aches.
As to your feet, they'd make an angel weep.
'Tis true you take them in whene'er you sleep.
No, you're not pretty, but you have, I own, A certain firmness --mostly you're [sic] backbone.
Firmness and strength (you have a giant's thews) Are virtues that the great know how to use --
I wish that they did not; yet, on the whole, You lack --excuse my mentioning it --Soul.
So, to be candid, unreserved and true, I'd rather you were I than I were you.
Perhaps, however, in a time to be, When Man's extinct, a better world may see
Your progeny in power and control, Due to the genesis and growth of Soul.
So I salute you as a reptile grand Predestined to regenerate the land.
Father of Possibilities, O deign To accept the homage of a dying reign!
In the far region of the unforeknown I dream a tortoise upon every throne.
I see an Emperor his head withdraw Into his carapace for fear of Law;
A King who carries something else than fat, Howe'er acceptably he carries that;
A President not strenuously bent On punishment of audible dissent --
Who never shot (it were a vain attack) An armed or unarmed tortoise in the back;
Subject and citizens that feel no need To make the March of Mind a wild stampede;
All progress slow, contemplative, sedate, And "Take your time" the word, in Church and State.
O Tortoise, 'tis a happy, happy dream, My glorious testudinous regime!
I wish in Eden you'd brought this about By slouching in and chasing Adam out.” | Ambrose Bierce quotes (American Writer, Journalist and Editor, 1842-1914)
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