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Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
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best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
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The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.
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“
Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.
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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
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“
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
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“
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
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“
What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.
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“
The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there's a man on base.
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“
What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
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santiz
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