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“More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had.”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)

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“I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”
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“Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.”
ghoststories Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“If the evens of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.”
EvolveToAnarchy Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?”
rainstormsong Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work?”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”
Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“Does anyone know...does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because...uh...you've all been in charge pretty much since...uh...what was that guys name...Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.”
NoxTheLost Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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“Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's cool, because it's not. You know what is cool? Smoking. Smoke while you vote.”
Hassle Jon Stewart quotes (American Comedian and Actor, b.1962)
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