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If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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Global Warming quotes
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“
Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
”
Dave Barry quotes
(
American
Writer
and
Humorist
best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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